How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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