He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
