I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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