I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
A+ Viking dick
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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