No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
