the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
