guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
