I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
