come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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