we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
