I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
