no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
