I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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