I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Edward fifth and chaser hands
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
