You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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