Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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