its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
