my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
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she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
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We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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