this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize