I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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