I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
