is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
