Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Farmville is her only friend.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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