Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
