there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
