happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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