You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Screwed.edu
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
