i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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