did you get engaged???
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.