So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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