Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.