He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
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And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
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Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea