I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
