If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
