i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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