my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
