Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
