Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
