Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
