Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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