Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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