I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
