roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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