my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
