Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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