this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
