just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
