4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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