He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
