He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
