I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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