he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
