return my video game
Barsexuality is the new black.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
