So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
