If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
