READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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