he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize