you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
