we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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